Go On.

Second-Guessing

written by: Jesson Rata

Minutes have passed. You look at it again.

You scratch your head. You twirl your hair. You twist your brain, you refrain. 

You think you know it. You think you're sure. 

You erase the previous mark, you're mind's a blur. 

You're digging deep, down to the dark well. 

You wish to see the light, you still dwell. 

You look around, stare at nothing, 

You look down, hoping to come up with something. 

You went with It. 

Oh hell with It. 

You scramble, you mumble. 

You dabble, you fumble.

You're tired. You're drained. 

You're pulling the last straw, one short end remained. 

You finally gave in, you're done messing;

You stop attempting, you're done second-guessing. 

Presidential Election- Vote 2012

Tomorrow, November 6, 2012 is the day to exercise one of your citizen rights: to vote. It's very important that each person that are of age, a citizen of the United States, and is registered to vote, to contribute to the progress of our country. So please, go out there and VOTE! Remember, every vote counts. Happy Voting everyone!

October 30, 1966

My Gift

written by: Jesson Rata

It turns out, I'm still a little kid.
The little kid who cries.
The little kid who's afraid.
The little kid who clings on to mom.
The little kid who falls every time he runs.
The little kid who gets bruises, wounds, scars--- patching band aids over it.

Now I understand.
I understand why She would leave me, while dropping my siblings off to school
She didn't have enough.
She would come back and bring Champorado. Spaghetti when she has enough.
She would help me dress for school: putting socks over my feet, fix my imperfect uniform, give me kisses for luck.
At times, I would cry when she drops me off.
At times, I would cry with them, every time their parents drop them off.
Most of the time, I would be very happy to see her there, standing, waiting for me.
She would carry me when I didn't have the energy.
She would carry me whenever I'm sick.
She would carry me to show affection.

She didn't have enough.
She works hard every day.
She works hard to keep the house clean.
She works hard to keep the fridge full.
She prays hard to survive.
She prays hard for guidance.
She prays hard for strength.
She raised us with her own bare hands.
She was our father.
She is my Mom.

Days in my shoe (MIA)

Literally. Missing-In-Action.

Unemployment is not the greatest thing. It's not the greatest feeling. It's not cracking. I feel static; not progressing, stuck, and useless. It hard to even make a tiny move in this sluggish economy. It's been five months and counting. Student Loans notices came in today and it hit me: I NEED TO MOVE MY ASS! The fact of the matter is, that's what I've been doing the entire time. When an opportunity opens, it's either I don't have enough experience, or over qualified. Especially when I'm almost close to locking-in that position, they were impressed but thought my qualifications and experience is not enough, too green, and went with someone "better-fit-for-the-position." I just don't get it anymore. They saw potential, they saw my enthusiasm, I gave them everything they could ask for and more; yet, I didn't fit what they were looking for.  By now, I'm used to, "We appreciate your interest. . . and wish you well in your future endeavors. . ." or  ". . . . wish you the best of luck in your job search." Unless you're a Jeanie or have "lucky" dust to dash over me, I'll take your well-thought-out-let's-not-hurt-his-feelings-but-let's-do-it-nicely-rejection letter. I'm tired. I'm tired of trying, using all of my energy and effort, only to fail. Once again, I'm finishing last. I spent four years of my college life, busting my ass off, investing my time and attention to earn my degree, be in debt, and turn out to be unemployed. Was it really worth it considering that I just drowned myself in debt and now must find a job to pay it all back? Education is key to success, yet I'm second guessing that at the moment. I find it funny how most of the entry-level positions require a high school diploma/GED, with 5 or more years of related experience, only to do the basic stuff, and get paid hourly (most start at minimum wage): Seriously? You telling me that  four years I spent working hard to just get that degree in the mail boils down to this? I feel like nothing is coming my way. I'm seriously considering doing basic jobs may it be in retail, restaurants, car-wash locations, or the random guy spinning that sign (at least he's making money!). Really America? The land of opportunities? With rising unemployment rates, rising gas prices, health care disparities, broken education system, to the "promising" economy, was it even all worth it? I don't know what to do with my life anymore. I'm trying all I can. I'm staying positive. I'm being patient. I'm praying. I'm thankful. The five or so of being unemployed allowed me to really appreciate my family and the remaining friends I have. So, I'm letting it all out to the Universe! Leaving all my problems and worries behind. I sill believe. I'm still very hopeful that an opportunity will come my way. It's almost Christmas and all I want is to have a stable job. Doing things that I want to do require money, that means getting a job. I never imagined to be in this situation. Education? I don't know anymore.

Things to Unload- Just Gotta Let it Out

Hey Ya'll! It's been ages! Literally it felt like I haven't blogged in so long. To update you on life, nothing changed. Still job less. Still looking and searching and the process of it all is becoming second nature to me. I thought that I had a chance to be able to finally find a stable job; unfortunately, when it was my turn to spin the wheel, it landed on 'lose turn' aka door was closed aka I'm not the winner of Hell's Kitchen and wasn't able to get my door open. Coming into the interview during that day, I was really nervous yet excited at the same time. During the interview, I felt confident answering all the questions and I would constantly get affirmations that I was answering the questions well with the panel saying, 'good', 'excellent'. At the end of the interview we even got a chance to laugh it out and talked about dogs! It didn't occur to me till after the interview that I should of distributed my freshly revised resume and references to the panel in order to show urgency or a sense of taking control and going ahead of the game; then I noticed that they already had a copy of my old resume that I submitted so I was being polite and observant and hesitated to ask them if they would want a new copy. I knew then that 10 points was taken off even in the scale of that minuscule detail. Then the weekend (Friday-Sunday) came (the interview happened Thursday), and I didn't occur to me to EMAIL the panel and thank them for the opportunity they've given me to be interviewed by them in order to show consistency and the desperate cry to hire me until late last night when my friend told me about it. SO I rushed in producing a decent email and was able to do it last minute. I knew after sending the email that I had already lost: Another ten points off and I'm out of the game. Katniss killed me with her archery skills. I finally got the confirmation when my friend notified me that she got the job offer and right then and there, I bled to death. Yes, I left out the part where it was between me and my friend fighting for the same position but I knew that when said that she knows the panel from past experience, that she's going to get the job just by walking through that door; coupled with her massive experience with Office of Student Life, her resume alone was enough to shoot right through my heart. In all seriousness, I was really proud of her and that I know that the panel made a very wise decision by hiring her. I know that she's going to contribute a lot to the Chancellor's Office and be able to just rock the Events Assistant position! It's going to take the entire day for me to get over it and just think about what's to come. I know that this is not what God planned for me and I know that there are going to be better things ahead. Overall, it was a learning experience. I had a wonderful time after the interview by reuniting with my Merced Family and was overwhelmed with love and positive vibe of them really wanting me to get the job. And for that, I appreciate and thank them for the support. So today is just an ordinary day. I'm waiting for that rejection email to come in and really just be the flower to my grave. LOL. There. Done. It feels good to have finally let it all out. As for the reader(s), thank you for your time and effort for reading such a post. Ya'll are very good listeners, I must say. Till my next entry, have a blastin' DAAAAY! :)

Earworm: Gun Shot by Nicki Minaj feat. Beenie Man

When I grow up. . .

Since the development of my cognitive ability to function, to think critically on my own, to form words, to speak, to be both objective and subjective, to be both rational/irrational, to think that I'm actually thinking, I too had the imagination to create an idea in my mind. To dream of what I would become, what I would turn into to, what I would/could be. Like many young, curious kids, I was already picturing myself doing something I love. Of course, the media, academia, and my peers made a huge impact in my process of formulating my ideal future self. Bellow is a list of shoulda/coulda/wouldas. . . when I grow up, I want to be a:

• Scientist
• Doctor
• Lawyer
• Firefighter 
• Writer/Author
• Performer
• Singer/Musician
• Celebrity
• Actor
• Dancer
• Painter/Artist
• Computer Scientist
• Engineer
• Architect
• Animator
• Provider
• Carer 
• Giver
• Magician
• Wizard
• Creator
• Inventor
• Helper
• Director
• Producer
• Lover
• Destroyer
• Smasher
• Collector
• Liberator
• Motivator

. . . To this day, I imagine myself being all of those form of my(SELF); an alternate universe where multiple beings of myself are either one or another. What would my life be if I became one of those mentioned beings? Who knows! As I'm living my current life, there's not a day where I think about this matter over and over again; playing in my head, day dreaming, and eventually made its way in my actual dreams when sleeping. Through this "journey," I realized how powerful the 'mind' is. They say that everyday is a new day. Well I think that there's no such thing as 'tomorrow' per se. Our idea of tomorrow is the actuality of waking up from dreaming; when night turns to day, when darkness is conquered by the light, the sun, when the actual  earth turns toward the light, making the other side oblivious to the rays of the sun and the transition begins again. I like to think that we only invented the words, yesterday, today, and tomorrow as a way to tell our place in time, to be organize, to follow the order, the law (physics, astronomy, chemistry, biology, relativity, you can pick from one of those), and to basically, and ultimately, live life. I'm amazed on how humanity has come a long way since the dawn of time (literally). Our earth, our human/animal species continues to evolve and to find ways to make life easy: to make it easier to live life everyday, to function with no ease, to instill the second nature in daunting tasks and responsibilities of a living human/animal. When it's all said and done, none of this nonsense even matters. This line of reasoning, computing, imagining, and thinking goes on nonstop in my head. [I can't believe I just used the prefix -non- three times in the same sentence]. Random, I know. If you're reading this, have you ever wonder what life is? What is it about? What makes it special? Why are we living? What makes us feel emotions? What/Who created us? Are there any other beings out there that are like us? Who are also thinking of the same things as us? Imagine a mirror of yourself in a different galaxy. How would you look like? How are you able to live everyday? What is life like living in the opposite end of the universe? Again, who knows. I don't know. Is there even anyone out there?

I apologize for the random detour this blog has ventured in to. I hope that like I, you also dream about the great things in life. What could/should/would you be when you grow up? What do you want to be when you grow up? Are you still 'growing'? Who's to say the limits of 'growing up?' Again, I don't know. WHO knows.

Words Unspoken

Two

written by: Jesson Rata

Star-crossed lovers? Not even close
The two were brought together at first sight, it seemed no future
Came from different families. One  with an alcoholic mother. The other, never even saw a glimpse of his father.
The tale of two, both had only one pursue.
The feeling of gentle, soft, light, addictive emotion.
None had no clear dreams of tomorrow.
The nights are filled with courtship, a chase to impress the other.
One moment hot, one moment cold, the rest, just right.
Like a ripping mango, once green, now grew shades of yellow.
The days came, after one another. Filled with tears both of melancholy and joy.
Trials after trials, the tests made them tougher, stronger, milder.
Fights came about, shouts, screams, pure disaster.
Struggles were like winter. A way to make them closer, together, sharing warm laughter.
From there, the fruit of their shared endeavors resulted in four successors.
Each one varies, much like the seasons.
Yet all dream of creating presents to give to their creators.
Time ages all. Time heals it all. Time makes it all.
The two continues to smile together.
Reminiscing the past, revisiting memories that lasts.
They both continue to live, only to paint a better picture.
Time creates it all. Time tells it all. Time knows it all.
When will the two fall? When will it all dull?
Together, the two will awaken, the two will never be broken, the two will happen.
 

Words Unspoken

Time Capsule 

written by: Jesson Rata

You try. Everyday you try.
You get up, search, write, you hit apply.
You do the same cycle; wash, rinse, clean.
You hope that in every solitaire, a reply will come after.
You wait, and wait, and wait.
Sometimes, you get nothing, sometimes you get objections.
You try. Everyday you try.
When will you do? Do you know what to do?
That one day will come. In time, you'll know. . . you'll do.

Reunited and it feels. . . alright.

Voice Within

written by: Jesson Rata

Pressure. Oh I wish I'm not struggling to free away from under.
They continue to push down with words of threats only bringing me down.
They think it's easy, when in fact, they only suggest the easy way out. . . they're very concern,
afraid that I fail on my own; Failure. The only way I'm going to be able to pick myself up is to fall. . . down to
my own mistakes, aches, for my own sake, this is what I need to endure, this is what I have to take.
Like them, I am also afraid, but I've come to believe in myself. Have they come to believe in me?
I ignore their blasting of rhetorical. A blank mask I put on, only to space them out, I stare at nothing while
they resume to pester me with their knowledge about what I should do. In reality, they know nothing.
They compare me to others. They assume nonchalantly. They don't know me.
I feel trapped. Contained in a bubble of oppression: hindering my ability to sprout and nourish my own.
Perhaps, they still think I'm the little boy they once adored. They've forgotten that time aged me
to this tall, slim, song bird who never stopped dreaming.
Now, I'm pursuing to achieve inner peace. For that is what gives me strength, courage, and determination
whilst in the midst of the noise and trouble, I keep my composure. . . and still be calm in my heart.


_________________________________________________________________________________

Hiatus, DONE! Took me long enough to be back here on my blog and post something. I've been meaning to  blog ever since my move back home, here in Sac. Welcome back, ME! As far as updates, it's been a roller coaster ride so far. Nothing exciting yet. I'm still conjuring up my plan of action. Let me just say that it feels good to not worry about school work. It's even more stressful to think about my own life at the moment. I'm sick and tired of people asking me about 'what am I going to do.' Seriously, people just need to calm down and let me have my own time to think and enjoy my free time for a while. For sixteen years, I was always on my toes, pacing everywhere trying to fulfill my role as a student. That part is now over. I'm still a 'student' in a way that I will never stop learning. I'm done trying to please everyone. It's time to please me, now (as weirdly as that sound). Idc. It's time to really go for something that I've been meaning to be since birth! I need to just go for it now, rather than wait and eventually not do it at all. Like a ninja, I am quietly making my moves. You will know all about it once I get there. Soon. XD



Song of the week: Wipe Your Eyes by Maroon 5 #Overexposed

Moments of Uncertainty

You know, when you're in the middle of an interview, you try to quickly come up with an answer that will entice the hiring manger in order to get a second interview? Well, today was just a day for that. I went in the interview thirty minutes early and had the opportunity to chat with some of the workers there. When it was time for me to get interviewed, I went in the office and sat in a chair. Most of you probably know the drill by now. A desk separates you from the interviewer and you just sit there for a good amount of time looking alert as possible. Then comes the questions being thrown at you. There are moments during the interview where I thought to myself, is he asking me a trick question? Should I answer them creatively or straight on? After some quick-second thinking, I blurted something out. At that moment, uncertainty invited itself in my head and started psyching me out. As I keep calm, I continued the interview with pure personality as much as I can conjure up. After the interview, I went in the car and had some time to clear my mind and think. A smack of my hand met the corner of my head, just above my hairline and called myself stupid. Stupid in a way that right after the interview, that's when the creative juices came in and my mind exploded with ideas to answer the questions in a way that would seal the deal. UGH. I hate the fact that it happens like that. When I was driving back home, I repeatedly rehearse the line that could have been the, "oh yeah. he's the right candidate," over and over and over again. I've come to the realization that there's nothing else I could do to change it all. This exact thing happens every time, especially when taking an exam: you sit there staring at the question for a good ten minutes and was able to answer it, then after taking the exam, that's when you start to remember everything you crammed the night before. LOL. It's ridiculous. Anyway, the interview manager told me that they will review everything, and if considered, they will give me a call at around 5pm. If I don't get a call, then I know that I wasn't going to even move on to the next phase of the three part interview process. *Sigh.* It's really hard to sell yourself to people when you're just trying to start your career. Lesson learned. Now I know what to respond back to that certain question. Nothing comes easy. Four years of college done, now it's time to work even harder than ever. Whatever happens, I'm not going to give up and will continue to improve. I think now it the perfect time for nap. LOL. :)

Life lesson #___!

Second chances. We all fall. We spend time being upset about what we did and would wish for time to turn back and undo our mistake(s). Unfortunately, as much as we fantasize for some mad scientist to invent a time machine, we fixate ourselves in the present psyching ourselves out and lose sleep just thinking about the scenario, playing it over and over again. .  .  . Well get over it! STOP wasting your time burning woods that was already been burnt out. Focus on what you have to do and motivate yourself. It's a life trial that tests our emotional endurance. Resilience is key. Adaptation is required. Like John Legend says, we're just ordinary people, we don't know which way to go. Take it slow- oh- oh -oh -oh- JUST TAKE IT SLOW! Ultimately, just take that second chance and never look back. Remember, you're not a time traveler. Life is what we make out of it, it's not the end of the world. . .  yet. LOL.

#ShitJustGotReal

UGH. As much as I hate the phrase; "shit just got real," it's in fact true. Now that I'm back from D.C., I had no idea that life here in the West Coast is very. . . slow?. . . chill (that's a better word), compared to the East Coast. To be honest, I miss it over there. I miss the lifestyle and the way everything is structured and laid-out. Perhaps one of the reasons why I feel that way is because it's different; different from the usual, different from what I've grown accustomed  to, different from how my life is now, different. . . . in a way that I feel like I belong there. Isn't that weird? At least that's how I feel about it. Now that I'm back from D.C., I've been out of the loop lately. I feel like, I don't belong here anymore and that I'm just counting down my days for when I finally walk across that stage and be done with school. Seeing how everyone is heading out in different directions, I feel like, shit really just got real: Some will stay for another year to finish up, some will go right on ahead to grad school, some would take a year off and go to grad school, and the rest, (*raises hand* OOO like me), will try to get assimilated into the world of adulthood: cultured with responsibilities, priorities, and daily  routines that actually gets an individual paid hourly from doing so. Yes, shit just got real, but I feel like it's been like that since the time when we all graduated high school. Real in a sense that the majority of us decided to continue on to college, while the rest bravely tackled "reality."

As commencement day is fast approaching, I'm even more nervous about life after college. I have till the end of this month to at least snatch a job and not be stuck at home. Pressure is even more apparent than ever. Shit, now that's real. I know it's serious shit, but why stress over it? I keep telling myself that but, 'myself-self' is still processing the idea and is still squeezing the stress ball. As long as I put my mind into it, things will eventually fall into place. Keyword: eventually. We all know that it's not happening over night but, keeping a positive attitude is always the key. Now that I'm back, I'm seeing this as a foreword in my life: an introduction to how my chapters unfold. I know ya'll are tired about hearing cliche shit over and over again. It's real shit ok?! I can't help it. LOL.

Another day is coming, time is flying. Life is not as easy, breezy, beautiful, cover, girl, I know it's cheesy. Honey, what you need today? "Love you long time," is always what I say. Shit just got real, no shit, life is the greatest deal, it goes on, ya feel?

Source: http://www.dvd-ppt-slideshow.com/blog/top-60-graduation-songs-or-music-for-graduation-video-presentation/

ACDC

Today is April 16th 2012. 

I didn't do much today. I enjoyed sleeping in for a bit since I'm officially done with my internship. I spent my afternoon watching youtube videos and not giving crap about deadlines I have to meet. I was also excited to spend the rest of my Monday with a really good co-worker of mine. Let's just name her Anna-Claire (AC for short). She's the BEST! The most funniest, amazing, outrageous, sassy person I have ever met here in DC through my internship experience. Her vibe was just one-of-a-kind. She's not fake and she's not afraid to say it how it is, with a certain quirky flair of hers. With that, I am very thankful that through this experience, I was able to meet amazing, real people that will forever be part of my life. They've contributed so much into making this experience worth while. For that, I want to thank them for everything. As I keep mentioning before, this is a very bittersweet moment. In one hand, it's going to be really sad to not see the people I have grown close with on a daily basis, and on the other hand, I really miss home and I can't wait to go back and see my family and friends. This is in turn, giving me the motivation to push harder than ever, like a mother trying to push her ten pound baby out of her. Now that's a push. Push like that movie Precious: based on a novel Push by Sapphire. (AC, aren't you proud I managed to insert this inside joke?!) LOL! Awesome. 

Through the ACDC program, I was able to really enjoy my internship. I couldn't have imagine surviving a day without getting a daily dose of AC. Yup. She's that amazing. And of course, my other coworkers were also amazing. They really made my experience at 826DC a fun one. 

Obviously, this blog post is dedicated to the one and only Ann-Claire. I can't wait to go in Thursday for tutoring (my official last day... yeah.. I figured that I could come in on Thursday and milk my time there... and see what AC has prepared for me. She mentioned that she's going to give me two things. LOL. I'm definitely excited for that. UGH. Which reminds me that I have to write my supervisor, my boss, and my coworkers, thank you letters. Maybe when I get inspired to write them, I will, but for now, I'm just worried about my papers. Yes, the four papers I have to write by the end of this week. I mean, I've started in some of them, but I have yet to finish all. 

Hhhhmm.. it's going to be one hell of week. By Saturday, I will be able to finally be done with Undergraduate studies and be able to really hustle and grind what I have to do after: to work of course. Hopefully, I will be able to get a paying job. Isn't that what we all are striving for? Yep. You just gotta keep that mentality and never stop dreaming. We'll just have to see where this road will take us. You never know. That's why I like to keep my doors open to anything, coz you never know who's going to be knocking. Life if unpredictable and too grate to not do anything while living. Anything is possible and I know that this sounds very cheesy.. but... it's TRUE! I'm sorry for that one person who is following this blog that they are not getting any quality writing, worth actually reading. I just have little stories that I tell with no fancy movie/book references or creative metaphors to match unlike how blogs are supposed to be written in order to keep the followers enticed. I also apologize for the fact that I'm lagging on posting more poems. I just don't get that inspired anymore. LOL. It will come back to me someday. I swear, it will. This college bizznitzz is driving me crazy. Till then follower, yes YOU! TTYL! XD 

Source: http://www.movie-list.com/trailers.php?id=marmaduke

Countdown

Today is Tuesday. A....pr....il... ugh.. APRIL 3RD!!!!!! It's freaking April. Which means, I only have three weeks left here in D.C. Which also means... a ton of shit is due before heading back home to Cali. I try my best, every single day, to now gush my eyes out and not pull all my hair out. Trust me, it's difficult to control my self from doing so. AAAHH.. I also need to find time to go and check out the Smithsonian Museums... maybe I'll do that over the weekend or so.. we'll see.. plus, I have to take lots of pictures and soak in every moment I have left here in D.C. It's weird that I've grown the liking to this city and know my way around it. But it's also hard for me to just chill because I seriously cannot waste any time; I have to work on my papers... another challenging task when I don't get enough sleep everyday... when I'm not working, I have class to attend... it's all waaaay too much... not to mention, all the things that I have to take care of when I get back to Cali... graduation shitz, moving out shitz, just a bunch of shitz. But enough of that.. let's talk about something else...

Let's talk about people...people in general.  Sometimes, I like to just sit at random places around town... like in Dupont Circle and just observe people. It amazes me how you can immediately tell what a person is like by how they walk, talk, interact, their mannerism, and how they also observe. You get to know them well enough when you share conversations with them. You consciously judge them (both in a good and bad way). It's interesting how we're all the same, yet, people discriminate, hate, segregate, and eliminate themselves out of society. People and their behavior are what makes observing them entertaining. Have you thought about your own actions and what it says about you and who you are?

*sigh* I guess it's time for me to get back into working. Ugh.. I want some chicken right about now. I just saw a little baby earlier and I feel like I could just eat an entire baby right now, pour hot sauce all over that puppy and season it with garlic salt... mmm.. tasty; that's how hungry I am.  Oh and I'll that to go please. Thank you.

Goodbye March

Holly crap!!!! Time flew by like a mofo!!!! The end of March is forthcoming. Literally, this is the last week of March. You know what that means?! It's going to be April!!!! UGH!!! It's hair pulling time!!!! Final papers, exams papers, papers, papers PAPAHS!!!!!!! AAGGHH. I'll make sure to manage my time wisely and finish what I need to finish on time. UGH.. I just need to catch up with sleep and relax for a while... speaking of relaxing.. have ya'll seen the movie Hunger Games? My friend and I will go see the movie this Friday after class... I can't wait to see it. I'm actually excited. I didn't read the series but who gives a fuck. I'll do whatever I want. I hate it when people read the books and expect the movie to surpass their expectations... well obviously, it's Hollywood... so their goal is to entertain the audience with cool graphic effects, eye candy bitches, crappy dialogue, mediocre acting, you know.. all the sugar and spice and everything nice.. plus, throw in the 3D shit to it. BAM! But yeah.. these adaptations, even the HP series, are alright... I was entertained but was confused in some parts because they weren't able to put in everything in 2hours or so. But yes. . .  I just can't wait to see it. What did ya'll do this weekend? Anything fun? Any movies ya'll went out to see with friends? TELL ME!!!!!!! XD

I Thought I'd Never Survive. . .

. . .yesterday! Oh how I dreaded yesterday. Only got a couple of hours of sleep the night before and was supposed to stay up all night to work on my presentation the day after; instead, walked around Capitol Mall with my friend/co-worker who was leaving the next day back to California. When I got back to my apartment, I sat down on my desk and set the alarm to wake up after an hour. I went to bed to take an hour nap; after a quick hour, alarm went off, then went back to sleep. Woke up just in time to get ready to go to work and thought to myself: OH CRAP! I then went to work, the walk there is always a workout. I worked, and also worked on my presentation. After my shift, I walked back to the center, just in time for class. Presented. It was a crappy presentation, but still managed to get a 'very good' by the professor. After that, I went to my apartment, went to bed, woke up, and back at work again. I'm exhausted! I'm sleepy! I'm HUNGRY!

Once again, I managed to not fully decay. . . just partially decayed. . . Let's see how this day goes. I will hopefully be able to get a good full sleep tonight. *Crossing Fingers*. I haven't eaten anything, I'm broke (literally), and feel like I could eat a large baby with extra seasoned fries on the side and a super sized Arizona Green tea to wash it down with.



Song of the week: Shake it out by Florence and the Machine
*the SMASH cover of this song is fantastic as well :)

Not So Much of A Break

Today is Monday. March 19, 2012.

Another ordinary day; back at work, doing the usual. It is ordinary in a way that it's not. Two of the interns that I started my journey here at 826DC left because their Winter quarter just ended. The vibe here at work is different now. It's not the same without my fellow UC interns. My Spring Break wasn't even much a 'break.' Even though I didn't do anything productive that I planned on doing, it still didn't feel like a break. I spent the first half, just chilling, sleeping in, doing nothing. The other half, I spent in NYC for a day just to explore; the rest, I spent with quarter students since it was their last week here in D.C.

I've said this many times before: I hate saying 'good-bye' to people I've grown close to. The relationships that blossomed into friendships matched the timing of the cherry blossoms exploding their natural beauty that only last for a certain amount of time; After that, all the petals fall and the life cycle of the tree begins again. Much like the experience I had with the Winter quarter students, it was only temporary that I'd hope for their time here to last till the last day of my term. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. I keep telling myself that I will see them soon. We all came from the same state anyway, so I'd just travel all over California and visit them. Road trip! LOL. *sigh* When the new batch of quarter students come in, it's not going to be the same. The vibe is going to be different, my neighbors are going to be different, the noise, the awkward moments in the elevator, the bumping into people, all are going to change. I guess, I'll have to start a new chapter. Change is good right?

As the weather begins to warm-up, I'm excited to soak up the sun for once. I feel like the winter here was unbearable even though it didn't snow as much as I anticipated it would be. I guess, climate change is part of the reason. All I know is that the world is changing. It's changing everyday. And I'm just too stubborn to MOVE ON.

I start this new week with not enough sleep, with a fifteen minute presentation due tomorrow--which I haven't started on,-- and four papers that are waiting in line for me to write that will be due in April. This remaining month and some odd days or so, will require full focus and not enough time to play around. Not to mention applying for jobs that I have to start doing soon. I don't want to graduate and not do something after, that would be bogus right? Right.

Today is Monday. March 19, 2012. A new day. A new beginning. I NEED COFFEE TO WAKE ME UP!!!!!!!!!!!! XD

Source: http://edailyupdate.com/cherry-blossom-festival-dc-2011/851722/

Countdown

This week. . . I don't even want to think about it.
People are leaving. . .
Quarter students of the UCDC Program are leaving by the end of this week. It's sad to think about it. Most of my new friends that I've met are quarter students. :(
It seemed like it was just yesterday when I was moving in with them and started to connect with people through my next door neighbors. I know that they're going back to California and if I have some free time, I would visit them when I come back, but I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to since I'm going to try and grind it out and work after I graduate. Can you believe it? I'm graduating this May! I'm scared. Time sure is flying fast. I don't even want to think about it.
Through this experience. . . I've learned so much about myself, about other people, and how much we take California for granted. D.C. is great. . . for working individuals/young professionals.  Everyone is grinding it and trying to move up the career ladder. It's a great city in that aspect, but I wouldn't living here permanently... I would feel stressed and not have time to chill. No beach, no amusement parks, not even a park; Museums, national landmarks, bars/clubs/lounges, and a bunch of burger places are the places to check out to unwind instead.
*Sigh* When my friends leave, the next few weeks would be so depressing. I won't hear laughter next door, crazy people running around, crazy people knocking on my door for a while; Until the new set of quarter students come in. Then, it's time to make new friends again. :(
But what can you do. . . we have to move on. That's just how life is.

source: http://tamiboesiger.blogspot.com/2010/12/top-ten-countdown.html

What are you 'hungry' for?

People (mainly guys) think that if they bathe themselves with body spray (mainly axe), that they're 'clean' and 'fresh'. Really?! You stinky bastard! I don't care if you don't have time, or late, or just plain lazy, take your ass to the bathroom and shower! I doesn't take that much time and effort... well, maybe if you haven't showered in days, it's probably best to double scrub. Common people! Take care of your personal hygiene! How are you able to present yourself to people smelling like that?! You may be insecure of yourself but, it's better to be insecure and smell good than be stinky-insecure-bitch. Right?! Right.

In the case of insecurities, people also think that if they're able to boss people around and tell them to do this instead of that, just because they have the power to do so and are trying to work their way up their career ladder. Dude. Calm your tits down. First of all, you're not my boss. Secondly, if you're trying to give advice to improve the quality of work, it doesn't hurt to be nice about it and have the decency to respect others. Hey, we're people too, you know. Did you forget about that, or is your ego really that big? Stepping on others that you think is lower than you, is not the way to treat your co-workers. And I know that you've been in the same situation before, so it would be appreciative is you help those people and steer them to the right direction with a positive attitude and not just lecture them in such negative tone. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Have some humility and learn to work with others the right way and try working with your own personal issues. If you need help, talk to someone. Talk to a friend. Do you even have REAL friends? If you need one, you know that I'm here. I've stressed over this same topic over and over before. I just don't get why people act that way.

On a side note, I a blast in NYC yesterday. My friend and I went there for a day to check out he job fair convention and we managed to successfully network with people and got interview offers.  We beasted it! I know that we only got a little taste of NYC but we just fell in love with the city. Even for just a day, being there, was such a great experience. We both love the vibe and the people. And I know that we were only in the little part of Manhattan, we didn't have time to explore all of it, let alone, explore the entire city. So, we'll just have to wait and see where this takes me. If I managed to get a job offer here in D.C., then I'll move here. If I managed to get a job offer in NYC,  then I'll move there.  I don't know how though, but I will make it happen. Plus, street foods in NYC is the best!!! We got went to this Halal food cart, and got a combo for only 5 bucks! five bucks! And it was a lot of food! In comparison, D.C., they don't have street foods... they have taco trucks and cupcake trucks, but no other trucks of food variety. Plus, the food here in D.C. is fucking expensive. That's why my friends and I resort to cheap Chinese food (YUM's II FTW!!!!) but, it's HELLA GOOD!!!!! LOL. Speaking of food. I'm hungry. I didn't get a chance to eat breakfast, I'm starving. Any suggestions on where to get lunch?

Words Unspoken

Inflection 

written by: Jesson Rata

Is it wrong to be different?
If it is. . . I don't ever want to be right.
You just sit there boring me with politics, your philosophy, and judgmental remarks.
While I'm up on my feet, owning my own skin, walking with dignity, and shrouded with humility.

No matter what they say, I'll always be true to me.
I may be stupid. . . but I'm not dumb.
I may be carefree. . . but my heart is not numb.
I'll let you be you. . . while I do me.
I know you're only hurting, you need a real friend, someone that will embrace thee.

Inconsiderate Jerks

I don't appreciate a person who lacks a sense of maturity, manners, and most of all, respect. Case in point: Over the weekend, my roommate invited his friends over our apartment. It was cool. No big deal. I just didn't get why my roommate didn't introduce me to them until the next day. He just simply told me that there's just going to be some guy sleeping on his bed that night and that I shouldn't just freak out as a fair warning. My reply was just a simple, ok. That's fine. No big deal. So I went out for a while, got some bomb ass Chinese Food with 'real' people. I came back to my apartment, tired, opened the door to my room and was greeted by this sour, bitter, old wet socks/chinese food stir fy smell! Once I got a quick whiff,  a sudden snore match with a fart sound tried to satisfy my desire to hear music that will for sure lull me to sleep. Great. Awesome. I just went to bed and shoved my self under the sheets. 


Unto the next day. I woke up and tried my best not to wake this wanker up and was actually being considerate and respectful; that's just me, it's in my blood. My mama taught me well. So, I got ready and went to work. At the end of the day, I went back home and decided to go out and grab Chinese take out. Again. I went in my room  and to my dismay, here's the pince of jerk sitting on my chair, chugging J.D. (Jack Daniel) and offered to give my seat back. I replied with, ". . . no it's ok. You can sit there. It's totally fine." I fake as that sound, I was really fine with it. My roommate offered if I want some JD and cookie dough. . . again, I responded with, ". . . no, I'm cool. It's ok. Thank you though." As corny as that sound, I was actually trying to say a pun/joke but he didn't get it. Haha. I went to the living room instead. Hours later, they went out, and I went in my room and watched an episode of Smash. Wonderful show btw. They came back, even drunk and started conversing about politics and such; saying bull crap one after the other and making dick comments that only enlarge their egos. To that, I didn't mind it. They just sounded so bratty who thinks that they're 'the shit.' Seriously?! Things that they say are just down right filthy, in all sense. It's true what they say, once they're drunk, true colors come out.  Seriously, I would rather hang out with people from the hood and have a blast with them than these know-it-all, inconsiderate, potty-mouth, educated, douche-bags. I pity them. I don't know why they act in such a manner that really shows how messed-up and insecure they are. Being educated doesn't give you the right to act like an ass-hole, talk like an ass-hole, and disrespect people with your acquired wit. I guess that's why I find a lot of fake individuals in academia, than my own neighborhood in South Sacramento; at least people in such areas are 'real', in all sense and don't sugar-coat shit! 


I guess it's one of those learning experiences that is essential in 'growing-up.' Thank God my parents taught me the value of humility. It's one of those things that's crucial in. . . I guess. . . growing-up! *Sigh* I can't wait to finally graduate and be done dealing with egotistical, rude, ignorant individuals. After that, I have to deal with adults that are five times worst! GROW UP PEOPLE, GROW UP! 

Source: http://wtfwithjohnmcintire.blogspot.com/2012/01/king-of-douchebags.html

Follow My Thought, If You Will

        . . . . . . *Overwhelmed* . . . (No sense of direction). . . Lost. . . still trying to find my way. The thought of home always runs through my mind. . . the struggles, the constant worries, with the condition of the economy, not making enough . . . long shifts, two jobs, over working. . . trying to support a family. . . uneducated. .  only got through half of elementary. . .  struggled through the storm, all wanting The American Dream. . .somehow managed to stay happy, laughter is what glued the family together. . . was able to raise four children. . . trying their best in order to keep the kids satisfied, not hungry, have a roof over their heads, protected from the rain, the hail, the gust of the unfair, cruel dark world. . . providing light, comfort, safety, care, love. . . wake up everyday doing the same routine. . . and the worries continue. . . an endless cycle, an endless ride. . . constant prayers every night. . . 




. . . Trying to put myself in my parent's position is no easy task. Can you imagine what they have to deal with everyday? Being away from home in such a great distance (the opposite coast, different place, different situations), it made think about them. . . almost every night, I dream about them. . . they managed to raise me for twenty years, teaching me the fundamentals of life, of how to live an independent life, yet, I yearn to hear and see them.  .  . I have a phone but I rarely call home. . . I don't have the time to do so. . . I come home every day tired. . . hungry. . . drained. . . sleepy. . . worried about homework, work, my life. . .  




. . . . I'm almost at the end. . . I can picture myself walking the stage. . . in May I'll be graduating. .  assuming that I pass my classes. . .  before then, I have to make sure I'm able to have an idea of where to go. . . possibly find a job. . . possibly thinking about moving away from home in order to provide for myself. . . or if not. . ugh. . . . I don't even want to think about moving back home. . . I'm so confused. . . I don't know what to do. . . What should I do? . . . .


. . . .  get a job? Follow my dreams and possibly make it? I need a sign. . . I'm putting myself out there in the Universe and trusting The One above to guide me through this. . . with everything that's going on around me, I have to plan my next move, or else, nothing will get accomplished. I need motivation. . . I need a push. .  . I need to talk to someone. I need to talk to you. . . . 

The National Art Gallery 02/26/2012- "Glare Shine"

Words Unspoken

Time_Line

written by: Jesson Rata

I'm staring at a spot for a very long time.
I'm sleepy, lifeless, and bored; sitting here comfortably should be a crime.
I stare at a blank space again.
The time slowly progressing, day dreaming puts me in zen.


As I warm my seat, my eyes are ready to set.
Even quick interruptions turns my temporary rest to threat.
Half an hour left, I'm counting down.
I'm king of the sofa, bring forth my crown.


I see the end is nearing, but it's far from ending,
I'm drifting, leaning, trying to move on, time is suspending.
When I finally reach the line, 
No lime from the lights, no celebration, no shine.


Walking steadily, with shame, back to where I started.
Fantasies all gone, dreams departed.
The path I take, rooted from own choice,
Rising from the ashes, I found my inner voice. 

Three Day Weekend

Cheers to the three day weekend. . . drink to that. .  yeah yeah!!!! LOL.

First of all, it's been a while ya'll! Sorry for taking a small hiatus from bloggin'. The past month has been a whirl-wind of things that I didn't have any time to get on here and blog. SO what to do in a three day weekend? Well, I feel like this weekend just flew by, I mean, I get the fact that we have Monday off but it still didn't really feel like much of a break.

Tonight, my co-workers and I had the privilege to see the Disney on Ice show. Thanks for the great bosses that we have at 826DC, Dillon gave her four interns the tickets; which by the way was a story of it's own: Dillon, our programs/volunteer coordinator gave me an assignment (much like a mission) to run to Pennsylvania Ave., to the Mayor's Office (big ass building) and meet some guy to pick-up a special envelope. As he was handing them to me, he made a quick speech about how much he appreciates 826DC and the service that we provide for the community. In my head, I was thinking the contents inside the envelope, perhaps money (donation) of some sort, another thank you letter, whatever it was, I made sure it was safe and sound. When I finally reached the 826DC center, I gave it to my supervisor and apologized for taking my sweet time only to fetch an envelope. Once I started working, she came up to me and asked if I was free Sunday evening and I replied a quick yes with hesitation (picture my face turning slowly, eyes squinting, and slowly saying the word out). I asked why, and she said that she wants to give us (four interns) the tickets to Disney on Ice- 100 years of Magic! From the moment she said Disney, I almost cried (of course I faked it but, hey.. ) LOL. I was ecstatic to find out that the envelope that I was holding the entire time was actually tickets to the show. In return, I said a thousand thank you's to Dillon and how amazing she is.

During the show, my co-worker and I went to where we were supposed to be and to find out that they were suite tickets!!!! (a.k.a. VIP access!!!). The moment that we saw the room, both of us turned to each other with pure amazement, like a kid in a candy shop, and had a 'white-girl-moment.' Of course, I took some pictures to post on my facebook, and a couple of videos. Man, it was awesome. Although there were minor falls from the skaters, it was alright; with big costumes and big production like that, I couldn't even fathom the pressure.

When my other co-worker mentioned something about a free show happening at the National Art Gallery, I decided to tag along with her and leave early after intermission. Although I didn't get to see the entirety of the show, I was fine with it. The mission to get to the Gallery was a work-out. The guy that works in Verizon Center told us the wrong the direction to the gallery and made us walk in a huge circle where we could have spent only ten minutes to get there instead of entire half an hour or so. When we got to the gallery, we thought we were going to be the cut-off since the place was already packed with people- because of the fact that it was a free show- but thank goodness we were able to get in had snatch a couple of seats for the both of us. After intermission, we went to where my co-worker's friends were sitting and was able to sit by them; thank you for the generous man who offered us the seats. After the show, we went to this restaurant, a brewery of some sort, and devoured our meal; well, at least I did: literally, inhaled that awesome burger. MMM... sooo filling. Then, we decided to catch the metro and had fun conversing and sharing some laughs along the way. It was an awesome time. I had a wonderful Sunday night.

A Sunday night that's not yet over. I still have to visit some friends and come back to my room to catch up on t.v. episodes. Overall, this was one of the best Sundays ever. I have to come back to The National Gallery of Arts and get lost in that place. OOO it's soo pretty and HUGE!  I hope ya'll had a wonderful Sunday as well. I hope to posts some poetry soon. Can you imagine that February is almost over? Time is surely flying. I feel like this is the perfect time to really explore D.C.

Speaking of exploring, I was supposed to go to NYC this weekend but due to some planning difficulties/issues, I wasn't able to go; thank goodness I didn't!!! LOL. I'll just wait till March, when it's actually a little warmer, that way I'm not freezing my ass off while trying to bite a piece of the big apple. OO I can't wait for more adventures to come!

Song of the week: One Republic- Good Life

source: http://weknowmemes.com/2011/11/wasted-the-whole-three-day-weekend/

There's Still Hope

Just got home from a long day at work. After, I went to go see an anti-valentine's day performance written by young play writers (8-11 grade students) in conjunction with the Young Playwright's Theater held at the GALA Hispanic Theatre in 14th Street NW (Columbia Heights area). 

OMGAH! That was the best theatre experience ever! Sure, there wasn't much of a set.. all they had was a bunch of chairs for the actors to sit... and most of the lines are read...but the quality of work that was put in to every performance was fantastic. And mind you, middle/high school kids wrote their own pieces (4 plays each written by 4 talented students). The lines were exceptionally delivered by the great actors/actresses..that I had to hug one actress after the show to show my appreciation of how good she was. 

I didn't expect much coming in, but was amazed by the fact that each student wrote a play and the quality of work that they put into it was awesome; better than other crap we see on films/television these days, with predictable plots, boring scenes, endless remakes, and the media's obsession with viper bull crap. I thought I'd never see another day when writers are actually producing work that is actually worth appreciating, till this day. And for that, I believe that there's still hope out there to revive what was once called entertainment. I truly believe that the children are our future, like what the late Whitney Houston said (or sang). I'm happy that there are programs out there like the In-School Playwriting Program that provides the tools and help for these young individuals to flourish their creativity and imagination through writing. Writing is the most basic task a person can do and yet, it's the most complex when one actually tries to write something out-of-the-box; may be through poetry, research paper, analysis, article piece (newspaper/magazine), playwriting, or even blogging! All of it requires critical thinking, patience, dedication, motivation, and a good amount of passion.

At the moment, I'm trying to really write more but I'm just so sleep deprived. It's been a long day. Overall, I'm glad that I made the decision to see the performance. I might try and volunteer at the theater and help out. I was going to try and act but they only do open auditions over the summer for its season productions; plus, I ain't no headshot! LOL. Anyway, I was really inspired by the performance tonight that it really made me think about my goals and aspirations in life. As one of the students said, "follow your dreams!" as corny as that may be. Heck, I believe in that and I'm going to follow my dreams. I know that I'll make it one day. One day, you will see. I will be a somebody!!!!! LOL. Have a great night ya'll! #Peace, Love, Happiness! XD :)

source: http://www.pamil-visions.net/category/entertainment/page/20/

We Will Always Love You

News broke yesterday (February 11, 2012) that one of the greatest voices in music has died. To be honest, I don't even know how to react. I was in shocked when I found out about it through twitter. On that moment, flashbacks of my childhood listening to I Will Always Love You, Run to You, I Wanna Dance with Somebody, to name a few hits. Known for her voice, The Voice, Whitney Houston was one of the many female artists that many of today's singers looked up to. The power, the inflections, the runs, the distinct tone of her voice made her one-of-a-kind, a divine diva, a legend. She was able to capture the audience, through her interpretations of songs and heart-felt delivery that she need not over-sing. All that one has to do was listen and be captivated by her regalness and charismatic stage presence.

One of these days, I want to do a tribute and perform a mash-up of her top-charting songs. If only I had the instruments to back me up. But, a simple medley will do just fine, as a way to celebrate her life and her mark that made everyone in the world love her, aspire to be her, sound like her, sing like her. Nothing compares to her. I know that she's up there singing with the angels. We Will Always Love You Whitney Houston! 

source: http://www.classicwhitney.com/

Before the Day Ends

Today was actually a productive day at work. 

Even though I didn't get enough sleep last night, it was actually a good day. 

I was late coming in work today (been since the start of this week). 

Finished tasks *pat myself on the back*

Had a wonderful lunch at work thanks to the delivery The Heights next door to us provided.

Ate so much. Chowed down a lamb burger with fries, Mac-n-Cheese, Chicken Wings, and Doughnuts for lunch.

Had a wonderful Thai dinner with wonderful peeps. The food was bomb. 

I'm so exhausted. Putting off presentation stuff tomorrow after class.

Didn't have time to read for class tomorrow; again, I'm going to just sit there and take notes, mouth shut, eye twitch here and there. 

After presenting tomorrow, I'm going to be so happy to start my weekend. 

35 mins left before 12. 

Days are totally flying, I should be totally sleeping. 

I can't wait to sleep. 

I love my bed. 

I can't wait to sleep.

I love my bed.

I just can't.

I need to sleep.

I just can't.

I need to sleep.

SLEEP! 

Source: http://islagraywaxinglyrical.wordpress.com/2010/09/09/sleep-obsessed/

Faux Real?!

There are many things in this world that I hate. One that really rank high on the list is fake people. I hate fake, two-faced, plastic, people. I don't get why they have to act this way and not be themselves. Perhaps they hate themselves and try to put on a front just to sell themselves in order for people to like them? Or that they are either scared of letting people know the "real" them or they're just afraid to let people in? Putting a mask on, a wall, a blanket, cake themselves with make up, cosmetic surgery, create multiple personas/identities, is supposedly a way for fake people to deal with their own problems within their inner selves. My only question is, why? Why would they do such a horrible thing? I would rather hangout/talk to quiet, odd, awkward individuals that nobody really likes/understand instead of making an effort to be liked/friends with someone who chooses people to be their friends and/or just plain fake. Why would I waste time just to keep re-introducing myself to someone who acts cool/nice, and somehow have dementia or really bad short-term memory of some sort and not remember my name; yet I freaking remember yours even though it was such a 'unique'/different, exotic, intricate name. Again, why would I waste my time trying to store your name/identity into my long-term memory (LTM)? FORGET YOU THEN! UGH!

I appreciate those people that actually, genuinely nice, friendly, respectful, social, humble, over-all cool and remembers my name and my face. I mean, yeah, if you meet me with my hair tied back, I look a little different compared to when I have my hair down; Really? You recognize me because of my hair? That shouldn't be the way you remember your friends right? And please don't make the "I was drunk" excuse. . . oh, so now that you're actually sober, you don't exchange salutations with me when I cross paths with you? And when you're drunk, you're suddenly turn into a friendly saint and have the nerve to make conversations with me. Really?! Either you're a dickhead, an asshole, self-centered, stuck-up, or just plain fake. With all this personalities you have, my diagnosis is that you have a multiple personality disorder or maybe you're just an attention whore and/or fake.

If your goal is to make people like you, for who you are, no matter what, just act like yourself. Don't try to please everybody just because you're only goal is to be popular and have your name mentioned around town. People who are popular are people who have actually made a difference in society and/or people that are likable because they're REAL no matter how awkward, silly, annoying, loud, and shy they are. If you're fake and people actually like you because you've defined they're own definition of 'cool', then they're probably fake as well. Maybe the only reason that your fake-ass is popular is because people talk about your fake actions and bullshit that comes out of your mouth, which reflects how badly you treat other people. You mind as well be an actress/actor since you're good at playing multiple roles. Hey, that shows your versatility, and people like that. But I bet you, people would be so confused as to why you act a certain way in real life, trying to fit into a certain group just to be liked. I don't get it. Again, why?

My point is, an individual doesn't have to try hard to be likeable. Just be yourself and be nice like how your parents taught and raised you. Unless, your parents didn't teach you much, that's another issue for the next post.

Fake is lame. Crack is the same. Look in the mirror you're the only one to blame. So don't be whack, stop playing the game; be your true self, no shame; stay grounded, stay the same. 

source: http://duralchristmastreefarm.weebly.com/1/post/2011/10/two-types-of-christmas-trees-sydney.html

Days of The Week

Sunday

Today is Sunday. February 5, 2012.

           Guess what today is??? Super Bowl XLVI!!!!! YEAH!!!! . . .  oh ok. I'm not a foot ball fanatic, I don't have a certain team that I wear/represent, but it's fun to watch it. Also, today is cleanse day. Since I've been here in D.C., I found myself going to church more than ever. The last time I went to church back home was 17 years ago. I know right?! I'm such a bad Catholic boy! But I always say to people that even those years that I've missed going, I still keep in touch with Him and pray and always keeping the faith. There are people out there who goes to church every Sunday and yet they commit things that are unspeakable and unholy. Or people who call themselves religious, yet they judge, disrespect, and stereo-type people without being open minded. Religion is not about reading the bible (or Qur'an, scriptures, etc.)  every day and knowing all the verses, it's not about asking favors/wishes/material things to whoever you believe, and it's not mostly about trying to fit in to religious holidays (i.e., the entire holy week, fasting, etc.). What makes religion a religion is the fact that you keep a connection, a relationship to whoever/whatever it is you truly believe in, with full genuine commitment. At least that's how I see it. To those who call themselves holy, look in the mirror, think about what you've done lately, and educate yourself.

I apologize for that spinet of rant and for those whom I offended. Sorry. Anyhow, today is mostly recovery day for those people who spent their Saturday night dancing, drinking, grinding, puking, f***ing, or all of the above. If only I was 21, I would probably do the same thing with them. Plus, today is also homework day. EWWW. For most of us, we would do our readings (or try to attempt and not get distracted), write our papers, and eat endlessly. I can't believe that this weekend flew by hella fast! Tomorrow is Monday, ugh, ya'll know how much WE hate that day, but we have to start the week somehow, right? 

Lastly, I want to give a shout-out to do those who follow my blog posts and waste about ten minutes or less reading my random thoughts and rants. I thank you all. . .I could probably count in both hands how many of you all are out there reading this post right now. So thank you! <3 <3 <3 Expect to see a poem probably tomorrow or sometime this coming week. Again, I thank YOU! *sings in tune with Bruno Mars' Just the Way you are*: you're amazing, just for reading my blog! LOL. *PANDA HUGS*  XD

source: http://www.bloggerclick.com/2011/04/sunday-facebook-status-updates.html

Days of The Week

Saturday

Today is Saturday. February 4, 2012. 

           Stayed up super late. Woke up super late. Now I'm just starting my day. The weather outside is pretty ugly. The rain makes me even more tired than I already am. Today is just chill. I'm going to National Geographic to volunteer and after that, start to rock the night away with amazing people. I don't know exactly what to expect, but that's part of the fun. 

I was supposed to go to the Newseum with my peeps, but failed to wake up on time; thus, the sleeping-in took over. Last night, I met more amazing people and found myself included in a group. The dynamics are different from the usual peeps that I hang out with. Perhaps the reason why is that most of the people that I hang out here with are in quarter system and the group that I met last night was in the same semester system that I am. What we all know is that we hate all the elitist students who think they run the entire center and that the world revolves around them. Whatever, I'm not going to let that bother me. Imma just continue to be Me and only do Me. Forget them!

It's Saturday and day is almost half-way over. I'm going to enjoy every second of it. Nothing is stopping me for ruling the world. Even this rain ain't scaring me. BRING IT! 

Source: http://www.commentbuddy.com/Saturday-Comments.htm

Days of The Week

Friday

Today is Friday. February 3, 2012.

            

I Hate It When. . .

I hate it when I'm in a room full of people talking about something that I don't have any knowledge about and leaving me feeling so left out and excluded.

I hate it when I don't have anything interesting to say, or something to contribute to a group or a discussion since I'm either tired due to lack of sleep, or just feel uninformed. 

I hate it when I don't have a voice; I can't speak; I can't articulate my thoughts.

I hate it when I'm forced to stay silent. 

I hate it when I can't think.

I hate it when I can't see.

I hate it when I can't. 

I hate it when I.

I hate it when.

I hate it.

I hate.

I. 

So it's Friday. I just got out of class, I'm  tired, I'm hungry, I'm sleepy, I want to hang out with people, I just don't want to do anything. If plans follow through, I'm hoping to enjoy late night fun with great people. We'll just have to wait and see. Hope ya'll have a wonderful, amazing, blasting, fun, crazy FRIDAY! 

source: http://george-hall.blogspot.com/2011/12/big-ole-hairy-friday.html

Days of The Week

Thursday

Today is Thursday. February 2, 2012. 

           I'm currently at work. I have my tea steeping on my left side, my folder, notepad, pen, Takis, granola bar on my right, and I'm ready to work today. I got a full night sleep last night. Woke up feeling better than yesterday, still a little sleepy, but managed to get to work on time. Today is also our staff meeting day. Every Thursday all of us gather in one big table and talk about three things we did last week, three things we're planning on doing this week/next week, and three things we need help on. Usually there's like a bonus fun question that we have to answer after we talk about our three things like, what's your favorite 90's movie(s)? Favorite book? etc. Something that's random and fun. 

I got a feeling that today is going to be a good day! Even though it's raining outside.. like a light to mid light showers--not like heavy-drenchy-WET kind of rain--the sunshine peaks in once in a while and tease us, but that's ok. Sun likes being kinky when rain is making us all wet. LOL. Anywhooo~

I have homework to do after work. Nothing difficult, just a bunch of readings and one paragraph paper. I'm just happy that today is Thursday. . . Coz we all know the tomorrow is Friday! Even though I have class tomorrow, it's good that it's not a night class.  But that's all I have for tomorrow. So when I have a free day, I always set an agenda for myself to be productive and do homework but it always fails to follow through. That's why I have to set realistic goals, and not plan on doing big things when all I have in mind is the thought of sleeping in. Don't ya'll hate when that happens? I surely hate it when people make plans with you and decides to change it the day when it was supposed to be on, it just irks me! Of course I don't react in such a negative way in front of them; I usually just smile and say that 'it's O.K.' when in actuality on the inside I'm saying, 'F***** U, U stupid B***!!!!! STOP WASTING MY TIME!'. So please, if you're one of those people, or know someone like that, or even experienced that in the past, don't let it happen again and avoid making plans that you know will never happen. I understand if something unexpected happens and you're really genuine about following through with the plan(s), that's an exception I'll let slide by coz that always happens to me and we don't have the ability to see the future; therefore, that excuse is valid. 

Speaking of plans, what are your plans for today, tomorrow, and for the weekend? No matter what, don't forget to always smile and stay positive. Good vibrations always equates to good karma; remember that. 

source: http://www.zwani.com/graphics/days_of_the_week/thursday/

Days of The Week

Wednesday 

Today is Wednesday. January February 1, 2012. 

              I am super tired today. I didn't get any sleep last night unless you count the fifteen minute nap break that I took on the floor of the study lounge. I was up all night, last night, till seven a.m. today working on my literature review that is due today for my Research Seminar: Sustainability and Environment. It's a pain in the butt trying to open my eyes and be actually present at the moment. For instance, I came in to work today and when I was doing my project, my eyes were giving up on me, while I was hanging on for dear life and not give in to temptation. It was so hard to not close my eyes, so I put my head down for a good ten minutes, closed my eyes for a bit, then mustered-up energy to continue working. Let's see if I can survive today. UGH. I don't feel like going to class today. I know that I'm not going to pay attention in class and will not say a word, nor participate. That reminds me, I have to print out my literature review before class tonight. I'm just hoping that I wrote--at least-- a good, solid literature review. *Crossing fingers*. We'll just have to find out when my peers evaluate and critic it. UGH. I swear, that class is just a drag. I feel like we do a lot of busy work and not actually work on our research paper, but I guess it's part of the process in order to be able to produce a well thought-out, solid (there I go with that word again), thought provoking research paper. UGH. Even just thinking about it, saying it, typing it, the idea and act of research paper just kills part of my soul. If not part, almost whole. I know that I've been writing research papers since High School, then actually producing my own research work during my Sophomore year of college, and now that I'm almost done with school, senioritis is taking over me. I have to write two research papers, with article summaries, case studies, presentations on top of it, and I just hope (there I go with that word again) that I'd survive. But through it all, I always remind myself to take it one day at a time and breathe. Take a  break once in a while and not stress about the future.  I hate when I do that! And when I do, I just end up adding wrinkles to my forehead, breakout, not get enough sleep, and cry in the corner while sucking my thumb and hair strands falling. What a sight to see right?! I bet! 

Well, I should go back to working and actually be productive. I hope (again), that things will not go horrible today. *Again, crossing fingers.* 

source: http://www.coolfreeimages.net/wednesday.php