Days of The Week

Tuesday 

Today is Tuesday. January 31, 2012. 

         After work last night, I went home, did laundry, watched  a recent episode of Parks and Recreation, defragmented my computer, went straight to bed, listened to a couple of songs to lull me to sleep, and I was knocked out. That's how tired I was. I didn't even bother being productive doing homework. My logic was that since I didn't get enough sleep the night before, sleeping in would replenish my soul and re-energize my body. So, I followed through that and now I feel way better than yesterday. Although, I still feel a little tired, I can actually be productive today and do work properly without spacing out and daydream. 

Since I've been here in D.C., my dreams have been really weird lately. Each night is different and as nights go by, my dreams are becoming more weird and unusual that I don't even remember most/all of it the moment I wake up. I guess it's a way for my mind of telling me to get some darn rest; which is really hard for me to get since I'm always busy and run into situations that would require me to waste more time. 

But hey, what I can say. That's just how it is. 

OO! Today is the last day of January! Can you believe that we're almost done with the first month of the new year? I can't believe it either! It's been a month of 2012! How many months left before the world ends? Just playing. LOL. The world is not going to end anytime soon. We have many more years ahead. Tust me, we do. How do I know that? IDK. I'm just being an optimist. Why would someone want the world to end? There's so many things in life that we all have to experience. It doesn't have to be so extravagant. Simple is always better. For instance, going to the movies with friends, eating out in unique places that you haven't experienced before, family trips, road trips (which are my favorites), hiking, walking to work/school, every day there's always something new. Nothing is impossible. The world could end next month, tonight, even ten seconds from now but why worry about it when you could spend  your time living it up! 

So Tuesday. One of my favorite days. The day to actually do work and feel good about it. A day in which lazy Mondays are so yesterday. What are you going to do today? Laugh a little, eat a bunch, live it up! 

source: http://blog.urbanoutfitters.com/blog/2008/08

Days of The Week

Monday

Today is Monday. January 30, 2012. 

           What I think about this day? As usual, I hate it! Who in this world likes this day? Not I! "Why so cranky?" said you. "Well. . . I didn't get enough sleep; I want to go back to bed; I'm hungry; I'm broke; I don't want to worry about school and all I want to do is chill: sing, dance, perform. BAM!" said I.

To be honest, Monday is actually not that bad of a day. It just so happens that today's start wasn't that great. I woke up, got ready in a hurry, walked to work, cleaned the store front, answered a call, completely blanked out when my boss asked who it was, now thinking that my boss hates me, now thinking that maybe he also hates Mondays so that's why he wasn't in a such a good mood but for me to know who it was when he asked, is not good. Not good for me looking like a delinquent  and not capable of doing simple mundane tasks. To that, I want to apologize to my boss for acting so unprofessional. "Sorry Joe!" said I. 

*Sigh* Now that I got that out of my system, I'm ready to restart this day. *Keep hitting the refresh button*. If only I had a Staple button, my life would have been so easy! Have you thought about the same thing? If there was such a thing like that in this world, I would order it online in a heart beat, to the point where I would even pay extra for fast shipping, deliver that shit right now and have it ready for me to hit! *still sighing* 

I'm about ready to actually start waking up. I need to wake up. No joke. This week is full of work and homework tasks that I need to get done ASAP so I could start enjoying my weekend without actually worrying about something that I have to do. 

And with that, I wish all of you a happy, wonderful, amazing, fantastic, warm Monday! It's time to do serious #WORK! :)

source: http://blog.jokeroo.com/2011/05/23/its-not-easy-being-a-monday/

Five Cents Per Page

UGH.


I don't even know how to start this post. I just need to let it all out. 
I hate the UC system. We paid so much money to be in the program and study here in D.C. (which is really expensive to live in. There's no such thing as middle-class in this city. You're either poor or rich.) UGH. Anyhow, It's ridiculous how we have to pay for laundry, pay to print stuff, pay to have visitors stay in our apartment, it's just too much. The catalyst of this rent happened a while ago when I decided to go to the computer lab and print my articles for my literature review; when I went in the in there, people were already hogging the computers that actually work and left the vacant ones (either the computer doesn't want to turn on or the keyboard decided to not respond) for me to check and find out that the system is vacuum sucking all our money out of our pockets. I bet private colleges let you print for free, but being in a public university acting like it's a private institution, FUCK that. 


Not too long ago, I was having a conversation in class with a friend who attends the University of Michigan and  he told me that they get one thousand dollars stipend for transportation and miscellaneous things from their school. With that, I responded with my jaw dropping on the ground and letting all the bullshit enter my system. First of all, for the UC system not support us in the same way Michigan supports their students for something like studying a semester in the nation capital, is insane. Secondly, the UC provides housing for Michigan, University of Pennsylvania,  and Australian students and stay here in the UC Center with the rest of the UC students. That's totally not fair! With the exception of Notre Dame students only taking classes here at the center and them living in a different building, but still. Notre Dame students also get 'support' from their school to spend on transportation and daily needs. And as Penn students go, judging by it being one the 'Ivy Leagues', I wouldn't be surprise if they also 'support' their students. UGH. Why UC why?! 


Le Sigh. The program itself is a really good experience. All I'm saying is how the UC system treat it's students unfairly and shitty. I know that I always say that it doesn't matter what school a person choose to attend for his/her Undergraduate studies, but unless the school is the University of California, where the funding is cut by the state, where tuition is hiked up, the system is not as appealing and worth it as it used to be. UGH. I know that there's no such thing as 'free' but the amount of total tuition we pay per semester, it's simply outrageous for 'them' to not even 'support' us enough for our basic needs. Since the program is UCDC, they should have 'spoiled' its UC students like how the other Universities in the program (mind you, all are private) support their students. Furthermore, it only makes us even more homesick and want to experience Cali weather, Cali food, Cali culture, Cali people. I HELLA, LIKE, MISS CALIFORNIA! LOL. SIGH. UGH. LOL! Whatever. I'm done ranting.


After a good day sleeping in and going to mass, I feel cleansed and ready to tackle this week. BRING IT!!!!!

source: http://www.dreamstime.com/stock-photo-angry-pig-image15673850

Words Unspoken

Dedication

written by: Jesson Rata

Life. 

It comes and goes.

Some leave early, some leave till they decompose.

Alone.

I can't believe that you're gone. 

You left me with your scent,

You left me discontent,

You left me with my heart bent,

With no consent, I didn't know what it meant.

Mourn.

Tears fall endlessly when I think of you in my memory.

Some sad, some happy.

You pick me up when I'm down,

You entertain me like a clown,

You make my world go round.

Stronger.

With every inch of me, I know that this will soon pass. 

There's always sunshine after the rain,

The values you've taught me remain.

Attain. Contain. Sustain. 

Those words you used to say, help ease the pain. 

Celebration.

I know you're in a better place,

With the late others, you meet them, embrace. 

As you look down upon me,

I know that you're always here with me. 

When that day comes, my last breath I yawn,

I will see you again, life goes on. 

source: http://ccmark.tripod.com/id3.html

Earworm

So lately, I've been constantly replaying this video and when I go on YouTube, this is the first thing that I search and play. Thanks for my dear friend Maee Buron for sharing the good vibrations. I listen and watch this every morning before heading to work and every night before going to bed. LOL. I love his version/interpretation of the Song "Open Your Eyes" by Bobby Caldwell with a hint of mashing it to a Common song.  I think this guy is really talented. I'm so jelly, I envy him for being soooo good? You know?! Like when someone is really good at what they do, you just feel like 'why do I even exists on this planet?' type of feeling-- well that's a little too extreme of a reaction--but seriously. Thank God for real talented people. They deserve to be seen by the many and be appreciated. I need to stop talking and let him show you what true talent is about: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nUASJkGU8g&list=LLfwTOFUSRNiymHt5Ua0kkig&index=3&feature=plpp_video

-Comment, Like, Subscribe. BAM! XD

source: http://tlc.howstuffworks.com/family/songs-stuck-in-head.htm

Reflection

Today is Thursday (01/26/2012).
               As I sit in the front desk looking out, I notice the grey clouds hovering over the busy intersection where pedestrians and drivers are in constant battle of 'who rules the road.' Constant motion, constant flow like the ocean, different notion, different motivation, different life stories, different narration. 


It's funny how one has to pay for plastic bags here. So most people just bring their own re-usable bags to carry around. Californians are so privileged for not having to pay extra for plastic bags. I'm not sure such law will be imposed in the golden state anytime soon, but I think it's a good idea. A good way to conserve  and live a sustainable life. At least that's one of the purposes that such Bill is enacted here in D.C. (I think, not really sure). 


What still bugs me is the fact that I lost my ipod shuffle. Sure my smart phone provides mp3 capabilities to  play musi but, not being able to turn up the volume loud enough is one of it's limitations. The sound is not just full enough that when I try to increase the volume to it's loudest, the sound would muffle with cracking sounds and falter. A sound in which the song is being destroyed.. ooo I hate when I hear that. For now, my phone will do. 


Being broke in a city is not a fun way to enjoy what it offers. I'm limited to what I can actually afford and not over spend. I'd prefer working a part-time job but my schedule is not flexible enough. Oh I wish my internship pays. . . even a stipend will do. . . but what can I do? Lately, I've been ignoring the fact that sooner or late, I will have to call my mom and ask for 'support.' Which I hate doing. I feel like she has enough on her plate that I don't want her to worry about me. That's why most of college career, I rely on aid. Hey, it's a good way to budget.  Prioritizing and learning to manage my finances allowed me to fully realize how hard life is and how hard-working my parents are: providing food and shelter for me and my siblings, only earning minimum wage. For that reason, I miss them dearly. 


It's daunting to think about how I will be graduating in May. I hate the fact that after that, I have to find a way to support myself, make something out of my college degree--somehow-- and be able to help my parents. To be honest, i don't really know what to do after college. I feel like I could just be a student for the rest of my life. . . but think about the loans I have to pay after till my last breath. UGH. Why is education not free? Someone please tell me why? *break into singing mode* Tell me why?! Ain't nothing but a heart ache. . . Tell me why?! . .  ani't nothing but a mistake. . . tell me why. . . I never wanna hear you say. . . I want it that way. I'm such a dork. I know! And I bet you're weird too! DORK! LOL!


*Sigh* Life is but a dream. Darn right it is. I'm still trying to figure out what to do in it. Do you have a clue of what you want to do? Please share, I want to hear it all from you too. 

source: http://www.thelensflare.com/imgs/morning-reflection_523.html

Words Unspoken

 My Ordinary Day

 written by: Jesson Rata

The sound of the alarm wakes me back to reality

Lazily, I get up, confused of my locality,

Forget punctuality!

Even if I try to wake up early, I'm still going to be late,

Forget formality!

"Every day is a new day" said they

They who prefer to see things in a new perspective way.

But when everything gets too hectic and things not coming my way,

I get weak, exhausted, not ready to play,

Just about ready to decay

And all I think about is hitting the hay

Why can't I do that everyday?

If not working, I'm busy in class

Learning about issues that affect the mass.

Like the social class, always contrasts,

We even worry about the fluctuating price of gas

In this generation, things are hard to surpass

At the end of the day, I'm back where I started

I stay-up late, following agendas I have charted,

After that I go back to bed, the sun far departed,

I leave the world again, wake-up, and set the day restarted.

Morning Rush

#FAIL! So I woke up on time today. Stupid me decided to go back to bed and sneak-in more sleep since I thought that I have time to spare. Drifting to dreamland, I was living an exciting life: going to parties, eating in fancy restaurants, bargain shopping, etc. Then I realized, 'I have to go to work! F**** I'm going to be late!!!' To add even more to my morning trial, housekeeping came in and was cleaning our bathroom. In that moment, I know that I had to improvise and turn to my roommate's bottled water to scrub my face with my shirt that I just drooled in during my 'excavations'. So there I was, looking like crap. The time was 9:50 and managed to head out and text my Supervisor that I was going to be 30 minutes late. The worst part, is walking to work knowing that people are looking at me and judging how I looked. . . which made me stare to the ground even more. After that, I didn't give a f****. They can look and judge my sh**y face, it's totally fine. TOTALLY FINE. 


I finally reached my work place and was only 15 minutes late. The first thing I did was head to the bathroom and tried fixing my face (scrubbing my face with a wet paper towel) and tried making my hair manageable. So now here I am. I feel like crap, I'm freaking starving, I need to wake up, and my face still looks like sh**! 


Let's just hope that today will be a good day. *Breathing in. . .  and out.* That part is done and over, I just need to think positive and move on. Woo, thank God I'm only working till 4pm, but I have class at 6pm. Let my day, commence. 

source: http://www.colourbox.com/media/3027840

Words Unspoken

Bound to be

written by: Jesson Rata

When will you begin to see?

That you're a perfect match for me

Like two pods in a pea,

We fit into a perfect T

Cup of tea, no fee, thank God love is free.

One hundred percent guarantee.

Whenever you're around, I fail to be me.

I stumble around, tripping on debris

So instead, I listen to my mp3.

One, two, three

I feel my heart, beating with glee

Why is it difficult to make you agree?

Do I have to confess or plea?

I know it sounds wrong but I want to be your abductee.

It's true in some degree,

I want your name and mine to be up on a marquee 

What is it again? Jesse? Mckey? Marie? 

Gotcha, just kidding, wait. . .do you even know me? 

source: http://www.brothersoft.com/puppy-love-theme-201597.html

D.C. For Thought

So January is almost over. Today marks my official first month here in this city. So what do I think of it so far? SO FREAKING COLD! I'm sure not in Cali anymore. Oh I wish I had a red-ruby-bidazzled-slippers and teleport (psyched) back Home. Besides the crazy weather, I'm starting to 'blend-in' and I'm feeling the vibe of this city. Walking to work everyday helps with   the process of assimilation. What I really like about the city is the structure of it-- the classic-European-vintage-innovative-timeless infrastructures, really good eateries/restaurants (just ask the locals about hidden locations of really good ones), and museums. Additionally, most people here are really helpful. They can tell you're not from the area by the way people look at the confusing street signs, them darn round-abouts, bowing down to their smart phone still confused as hell. Even riding the bus when we took the wrong one, people in there were on our case and was giving us directions, advice, giving us street knowledge about getting around the city. Almost everyone in the bus were congregating in assisting lost California kids, I felt like such a tourist, in a good way. 


What's funny is that people can really tell that we're from Cali because apparently, we have 'accents.' Really?! I didn't know we have one; that struck me the most, then again Washingtonians also have accents. And this was apparent in the students I work with at work.  Speaking of work, my internship is awesome: Awesome non-profit organization, Awesome co-workers, Awesome for being Awesome, it's just Awesome. Being here also made me realize how clumsy I am for having a really bad condition of quickly losing things I hold in my hand. I cannot 'handle' and organize things when my hands are literally full that I ignore the fact that I'm dropping my right glove, ipod shuffle--both are now gone-- and my phone! Oh I wish my housemate from Merced would mail me my phone cover that took a lifetime to be shipped in. *Sigh*. Other than my series of unfortunate events, I'm really glad that I decided to do the program. Through this, I was able to make new friends, consider the fact that I'm really broke, that I miss my car, that I miss Mexican food, and that I have acid reflex. 


Talk about mixed emotions. Nonetheless, it's only been exactly a month and I feel like I still have a lot to learn and explore. I have to remind myself everyday that I am in the Capital City, that I'm fortunate being here, that life is not easy--it get's real,-- and that I should soak-in every second of this experience and appreciate it as much as possible. The only thing that I'm having a hard time juggling at the moment are the three classes I have to take plus,  toss-in my internship. Now I'm wishing I have extra arms. Not really. That would be super freaky and awkward. Not stylish at all. 


Ultimately, I'm ready to tackle the coming snow storm, the endless nights of losing sleep from studying/writing papers, and spending quality time with amazing people. I have a long way to go till I reach the core of that ginormous onion. Each and every day, I feel like I'm peeling one layer and it's only the paper-like-outer part of it. In the meantime, I need to stay awake and get the grind going. *toast* Here's for more days ahead. 


P.S.- I really miss dancing and jamming with peeps. I now turn to writing as my outlet to keep me sane. 

source: http://www.dcphototour.com/WashingtonDCFourSeasonsPhotoTour/slides/washington%20Monument%20snow%202007_1.shtml

Lyrics Unspoken

Untitled 

It's late at night

and I'm outside

It's really cold

Should I go inside?

The snow is falling

And what am I'm doing?

Feeling so blue

All I want to do is be with you

[Chorus]

When will you come back?

I'm all alone, lost in my own track

Guide me now, somehow

Thoughts of you are the only things I allow

Sitting on the bench

I remember the memories we made

On this same day, our hearts clench

Now I'm wishing our love stayed

That was the past,

Why did our love not last?

(Repeat Chorus)

[Bridge]

Like the snow, so pure, so white

I'm covered with emotions, hear these words I recite

Like the warmth of this drink in my cup

Slowly, but surely, I'm ready to live it up

(Repeat Chorus)

Words Unspoken

Cold-less Whisper
written by: Jesson Rata


Shiver.

As I sit in this room it just got colder.

Friction.

As I rub my hands together, hoping to get warmer,

Clenched teeth, I speak, my words falter. 

I continue to find warmth.

I try to find space,

 I picture the sun , the beach, the trees, my mind running, yearning, dreaming for that place

I chase, with this blanket I wrap myself with, I'll soon get there, the place I embrace.

Like water that turns to ice

My feet are freezing, now I'm sneezing

Say something and I'll sure take your advice.

 The only way for me to get through this, is to think about that special someone--

The one that I miss-- 

The touch, the feeling, the love, the kiss, 

I continue to reminisce.

*Sigh* Nothing seems to matter.

I'm now hungry, where's my cup of soup serve in a platinum platter? 

I'm suffering in this place,

the icicles I want to shatter. 

Like the Madhatter.

I am waiting for Alice to save me from the Red Queen,

Oo I can't stand her!

Alice, please get me out of this ice land.

When will you take me to that place?

A place filled with warmth, the name of it you replace,

I demand, please hold my hand,

Walk with me to the place you call Wonderland. 

source: http://www.whitegadget.com/pc-wallpapers/141889-wonderland.html

Hash-Tag-Bash-Lag

#WhatI'veNoticed:
              - Almost all of the Disney Princesses had to be super curious that they all ended up in situations that caused their plot to begin with (i.e., Sleeping Beauty had to be curious and touch the needle, Ariel had to curious and want to be 'Part of your World', Jasmine had to be so curious about living the hoodrat lifestyle and managed to get in trouble, Rapunzel had to be curious and wanted to explore what's out there and got into her tangled problems, Bell had to be curious to find what lies in the West Wing and got herself in trouble, Mulan had to be curious about not finding her true self and went against the words of her father, etc.) You get the point yeah? Additionally, almost every single one of them had 'Daddy issues'. . . what's up with that? 


#FlowOfToday
            - With only three hours of sleep, I feel like a walking zombie. As much as I hate to say it, I NEED COFFEE!!!! I'm afraid to go back to my old habits but it's a must. I REALLY need it. Work is almost done. . . well not really, I still have two hours left. Plus, I have class till 9pm tonight . . . then finish up my presentation for tomorrow. UGH. See why I'm in need of caffeine high at the moment? 

#TheOrderOfLife

            I'm really tired. Sorry that my creative juices are not flowing today. Today is not the day. I'm just ready to hit the hay. Days upon days, it seems that I lag to say: Have a good day! Perhaps tomorrow would be a different kind of day, where we sing songs about how Love Is Here To Stay? We should all be thankful how we live an ordinary life, almost every single day. Not counting the extra hours of sleep, especially on a holiday. What day is it today? Do you remember the phrases, quotes, lyrics, and cute things we say? I know I'm asking much, but please hear the words I'm about to say: Will you be the one for me, the one who will love me on that special day? Be my amor on Valentine's Day? Spend the rest of your life with me almost everyday? Experience all the joy and sadness whatever comes our way? Come What May? Or do you want to change the date to May? But here you lay. In the Stone Garden I always pray, that we will soon meet, together, forever, celebrating A New Day. 





-What really? I managed to create a poem even in my current condition. I didn't expect that to be a poem but I guess it is now. LOL. At least I got something productive done. I still need to finish reading my sources for my presentation. One hour and forty-five minutes left of work. *Sigh* Oh how I miss the Bay.

Re-Post

So umm... I spent like an hour finishing up a really good poem that I wrote... I was hitting the publish button but it wasn't doing anything and apparently it was in the process of 'saving'.... for a longest time.. so I signed-out not knowing the catastrophe that I was about to slap my face after. I signed-in again and went back to the draft. . . I was shocked to find that it didn't save my work!!!!! I was upset for a good minute while trying everything I can to rewind back time (hitting the back arrow). Disappointed I was, and still am, I wish I had copied and paste my work in a word document before signing out of my darn account. UGH. This post was supposed to be a poem about people in the club and shit. Now I'm just ranting about failing to save it. An hour of meticulously playing with words, creating metaphors, making rhymes, all was washed away by my stupid crime. *Crimes, would have made that line work but whatever...I'm over it..... well.. not really... UGH!!!!!!* 

Waiting to Hatch

The Capitol

Washington Monument

                                 

 Every time . . . I would wake up and slap myself; A reminder that I'm not in Cali anymore. Places are different, intersections are different, the way people live are different, lifestyle's different, people are different, let's face it, it's different! This part of the east-coast is really something that's taking me forever to get used to. I feel like I'm one of those snakes who would shed skin soooooo slowly and not instantly; I'm that one fish in the plastic bag that needs to be dipped in the aquarium for a good half-an-our to get used to the water temperature. For some reason, I don't know why it's taking forever for me to really groove with the city. Two weeks it's almost been, and I still need to rely on my smartphone for directions to/from work. 

But alas I'm starting to get a hang of it by the time I ended work today. I was able to find my way back to the center with little to help from my phone. I'm starting to remember the streets that I like where life is plentiful, shops and food places are recognizable, the smell of the air almost usual. 

Like they always say, one must be take baby-steps in order to fully grow and experience the journey. I think I'm getting there. I mean, I always walk to work, so I'm hoping by the time the third week comes in, the "journey" would just "grow" on me. LOL. JK. 

In all seriousness, I'm not going to push myself and act like I *heart*/xoxo/L.O.V.E. the city. . . I guess I just need time. Time that would always seem to zoom by, not even stopping for a moment to say hi. . . in reality it's always goodbye. (#sidenote: notice how some sentences rhyme? Yeah, I'm trying to improve my poetry skills by doing so. It's fun, you should ty! (see what I did there? MMhhhhMMM) bitch don't lie! (BAM!!! LOL!) seriously though, writing has been my outlet since I got here. It's hard to dance/sing where there's no place to do it! Ridiculous, I kNOW!)

*Sigh* For the time being, I shall hit the hay and catch some z's before I start another day. I have class tomorrow, be in a meeting, do laundry, yeah it's alright, because tomorrow's Friday! (BAM!!!! WAAAHHH???!!!). XD

   

Words Unspoken

Praying To Stay

written by: Jesson Rata

A blank canvas I see in front of me

Thinking of things to paint on thee

As I prepare the paints, the brushes, the can full of water

I remember the necklace, the watch, the ring that I order

For who you ask? No, not for her

Days and nights have already passed, why do I even bother?

With the brush in my hand I stroke

Painting the blank canvas with colors that spoke--

Of memories and fantasies all dreaming of hope

All of it vanished, evaporated, the story ended once I awoke

Is this really happening? The time stood still

A pause for a moment where everything's occurring for real

A glimpse of something, for years of yearning

Amazed by the revelation of new beginning 

The clock strikes, back to reality once again

Realizing that in this chair, restricted, I remain

I know I'm not insane, sometimes it's hard to explain

This is slowly killing me, accumulated pain I complain

That is it. I'm done. Nothing more I can take

I want to go back to sleep, I'm tired of this world of fake

As I count sheep, preparing to blast away

I can't seem to remember what I did today