Moments of Uncertainty

You know, when you're in the middle of an interview, you try to quickly come up with an answer that will entice the hiring manger in order to get a second interview? Well, today was just a day for that. I went in the interview thirty minutes early and had the opportunity to chat with some of the workers there. When it was time for me to get interviewed, I went in the office and sat in a chair. Most of you probably know the drill by now. A desk separates you from the interviewer and you just sit there for a good amount of time looking alert as possible. Then comes the questions being thrown at you. There are moments during the interview where I thought to myself, is he asking me a trick question? Should I answer them creatively or straight on? After some quick-second thinking, I blurted something out. At that moment, uncertainty invited itself in my head and started psyching me out. As I keep calm, I continued the interview with pure personality as much as I can conjure up. After the interview, I went in the car and had some time to clear my mind and think. A smack of my hand met the corner of my head, just above my hairline and called myself stupid. Stupid in a way that right after the interview, that's when the creative juices came in and my mind exploded with ideas to answer the questions in a way that would seal the deal. UGH. I hate the fact that it happens like that. When I was driving back home, I repeatedly rehearse the line that could have been the, "oh yeah. he's the right candidate," over and over and over again. I've come to the realization that there's nothing else I could do to change it all. This exact thing happens every time, especially when taking an exam: you sit there staring at the question for a good ten minutes and was able to answer it, then after taking the exam, that's when you start to remember everything you crammed the night before. LOL. It's ridiculous. Anyway, the interview manager told me that they will review everything, and if considered, they will give me a call at around 5pm. If I don't get a call, then I know that I wasn't going to even move on to the next phase of the three part interview process. *Sigh.* It's really hard to sell yourself to people when you're just trying to start your career. Lesson learned. Now I know what to respond back to that certain question. Nothing comes easy. Four years of college done, now it's time to work even harder than ever. Whatever happens, I'm not going to give up and will continue to improve. I think now it the perfect time for nap. LOL. :)

Life lesson #___!

Second chances. We all fall. We spend time being upset about what we did and would wish for time to turn back and undo our mistake(s). Unfortunately, as much as we fantasize for some mad scientist to invent a time machine, we fixate ourselves in the present psyching ourselves out and lose sleep just thinking about the scenario, playing it over and over again. .  .  . Well get over it! STOP wasting your time burning woods that was already been burnt out. Focus on what you have to do and motivate yourself. It's a life trial that tests our emotional endurance. Resilience is key. Adaptation is required. Like John Legend says, we're just ordinary people, we don't know which way to go. Take it slow- oh- oh -oh -oh- JUST TAKE IT SLOW! Ultimately, just take that second chance and never look back. Remember, you're not a time traveler. Life is what we make out of it, it's not the end of the world. . .  yet. LOL.

#ShitJustGotReal

UGH. As much as I hate the phrase; "shit just got real," it's in fact true. Now that I'm back from D.C., I had no idea that life here in the West Coast is very. . . slow?. . . chill (that's a better word), compared to the East Coast. To be honest, I miss it over there. I miss the lifestyle and the way everything is structured and laid-out. Perhaps one of the reasons why I feel that way is because it's different; different from the usual, different from what I've grown accustomed  to, different from how my life is now, different. . . . in a way that I feel like I belong there. Isn't that weird? At least that's how I feel about it. Now that I'm back from D.C., I've been out of the loop lately. I feel like, I don't belong here anymore and that I'm just counting down my days for when I finally walk across that stage and be done with school. Seeing how everyone is heading out in different directions, I feel like, shit really just got real: Some will stay for another year to finish up, some will go right on ahead to grad school, some would take a year off and go to grad school, and the rest, (*raises hand* OOO like me), will try to get assimilated into the world of adulthood: cultured with responsibilities, priorities, and daily  routines that actually gets an individual paid hourly from doing so. Yes, shit just got real, but I feel like it's been like that since the time when we all graduated high school. Real in a sense that the majority of us decided to continue on to college, while the rest bravely tackled "reality."

As commencement day is fast approaching, I'm even more nervous about life after college. I have till the end of this month to at least snatch a job and not be stuck at home. Pressure is even more apparent than ever. Shit, now that's real. I know it's serious shit, but why stress over it? I keep telling myself that but, 'myself-self' is still processing the idea and is still squeezing the stress ball. As long as I put my mind into it, things will eventually fall into place. Keyword: eventually. We all know that it's not happening over night but, keeping a positive attitude is always the key. Now that I'm back, I'm seeing this as a foreword in my life: an introduction to how my chapters unfold. I know ya'll are tired about hearing cliche shit over and over again. It's real shit ok?! I can't help it. LOL.

Another day is coming, time is flying. Life is not as easy, breezy, beautiful, cover, girl, I know it's cheesy. Honey, what you need today? "Love you long time," is always what I say. Shit just got real, no shit, life is the greatest deal, it goes on, ya feel?

Source: http://www.dvd-ppt-slideshow.com/blog/top-60-graduation-songs-or-music-for-graduation-video-presentation/

ACDC

Today is April 16th 2012. 

I didn't do much today. I enjoyed sleeping in for a bit since I'm officially done with my internship. I spent my afternoon watching youtube videos and not giving crap about deadlines I have to meet. I was also excited to spend the rest of my Monday with a really good co-worker of mine. Let's just name her Anna-Claire (AC for short). She's the BEST! The most funniest, amazing, outrageous, sassy person I have ever met here in DC through my internship experience. Her vibe was just one-of-a-kind. She's not fake and she's not afraid to say it how it is, with a certain quirky flair of hers. With that, I am very thankful that through this experience, I was able to meet amazing, real people that will forever be part of my life. They've contributed so much into making this experience worth while. For that, I want to thank them for everything. As I keep mentioning before, this is a very bittersweet moment. In one hand, it's going to be really sad to not see the people I have grown close with on a daily basis, and on the other hand, I really miss home and I can't wait to go back and see my family and friends. This is in turn, giving me the motivation to push harder than ever, like a mother trying to push her ten pound baby out of her. Now that's a push. Push like that movie Precious: based on a novel Push by Sapphire. (AC, aren't you proud I managed to insert this inside joke?!) LOL! Awesome. 

Through the ACDC program, I was able to really enjoy my internship. I couldn't have imagine surviving a day without getting a daily dose of AC. Yup. She's that amazing. And of course, my other coworkers were also amazing. They really made my experience at 826DC a fun one. 

Obviously, this blog post is dedicated to the one and only Ann-Claire. I can't wait to go in Thursday for tutoring (my official last day... yeah.. I figured that I could come in on Thursday and milk my time there... and see what AC has prepared for me. She mentioned that she's going to give me two things. LOL. I'm definitely excited for that. UGH. Which reminds me that I have to write my supervisor, my boss, and my coworkers, thank you letters. Maybe when I get inspired to write them, I will, but for now, I'm just worried about my papers. Yes, the four papers I have to write by the end of this week. I mean, I've started in some of them, but I have yet to finish all. 

Hhhhmm.. it's going to be one hell of week. By Saturday, I will be able to finally be done with Undergraduate studies and be able to really hustle and grind what I have to do after: to work of course. Hopefully, I will be able to get a paying job. Isn't that what we all are striving for? Yep. You just gotta keep that mentality and never stop dreaming. We'll just have to see where this road will take us. You never know. That's why I like to keep my doors open to anything, coz you never know who's going to be knocking. Life if unpredictable and too grate to not do anything while living. Anything is possible and I know that this sounds very cheesy.. but... it's TRUE! I'm sorry for that one person who is following this blog that they are not getting any quality writing, worth actually reading. I just have little stories that I tell with no fancy movie/book references or creative metaphors to match unlike how blogs are supposed to be written in order to keep the followers enticed. I also apologize for the fact that I'm lagging on posting more poems. I just don't get that inspired anymore. LOL. It will come back to me someday. I swear, it will. This college bizznitzz is driving me crazy. Till then follower, yes YOU! TTYL! XD 

Source: http://www.movie-list.com/trailers.php?id=marmaduke

Countdown

Today is Tuesday. A....pr....il... ugh.. APRIL 3RD!!!!!! It's freaking April. Which means, I only have three weeks left here in D.C. Which also means... a ton of shit is due before heading back home to Cali. I try my best, every single day, to now gush my eyes out and not pull all my hair out. Trust me, it's difficult to control my self from doing so. AAAHH.. I also need to find time to go and check out the Smithsonian Museums... maybe I'll do that over the weekend or so.. we'll see.. plus, I have to take lots of pictures and soak in every moment I have left here in D.C. It's weird that I've grown the liking to this city and know my way around it. But it's also hard for me to just chill because I seriously cannot waste any time; I have to work on my papers... another challenging task when I don't get enough sleep everyday... when I'm not working, I have class to attend... it's all waaaay too much... not to mention, all the things that I have to take care of when I get back to Cali... graduation shitz, moving out shitz, just a bunch of shitz. But enough of that.. let's talk about something else...

Let's talk about people...people in general.  Sometimes, I like to just sit at random places around town... like in Dupont Circle and just observe people. It amazes me how you can immediately tell what a person is like by how they walk, talk, interact, their mannerism, and how they also observe. You get to know them well enough when you share conversations with them. You consciously judge them (both in a good and bad way). It's interesting how we're all the same, yet, people discriminate, hate, segregate, and eliminate themselves out of society. People and their behavior are what makes observing them entertaining. Have you thought about your own actions and what it says about you and who you are?

*sigh* I guess it's time for me to get back into working. Ugh.. I want some chicken right about now. I just saw a little baby earlier and I feel like I could just eat an entire baby right now, pour hot sauce all over that puppy and season it with garlic salt... mmm.. tasty; that's how hungry I am.  Oh and I'll that to go please. Thank you.

Goodbye March

Holly crap!!!! Time flew by like a mofo!!!! The end of March is forthcoming. Literally, this is the last week of March. You know what that means?! It's going to be April!!!! UGH!!! It's hair pulling time!!!! Final papers, exams papers, papers, papers PAPAHS!!!!!!! AAGGHH. I'll make sure to manage my time wisely and finish what I need to finish on time. UGH.. I just need to catch up with sleep and relax for a while... speaking of relaxing.. have ya'll seen the movie Hunger Games? My friend and I will go see the movie this Friday after class... I can't wait to see it. I'm actually excited. I didn't read the series but who gives a fuck. I'll do whatever I want. I hate it when people read the books and expect the movie to surpass their expectations... well obviously, it's Hollywood... so their goal is to entertain the audience with cool graphic effects, eye candy bitches, crappy dialogue, mediocre acting, you know.. all the sugar and spice and everything nice.. plus, throw in the 3D shit to it. BAM! But yeah.. these adaptations, even the HP series, are alright... I was entertained but was confused in some parts because they weren't able to put in everything in 2hours or so. But yes. . .  I just can't wait to see it. What did ya'll do this weekend? Anything fun? Any movies ya'll went out to see with friends? TELL ME!!!!!!! XD

I Thought I'd Never Survive. . .

. . .yesterday! Oh how I dreaded yesterday. Only got a couple of hours of sleep the night before and was supposed to stay up all night to work on my presentation the day after; instead, walked around Capitol Mall with my friend/co-worker who was leaving the next day back to California. When I got back to my apartment, I sat down on my desk and set the alarm to wake up after an hour. I went to bed to take an hour nap; after a quick hour, alarm went off, then went back to sleep. Woke up just in time to get ready to go to work and thought to myself: OH CRAP! I then went to work, the walk there is always a workout. I worked, and also worked on my presentation. After my shift, I walked back to the center, just in time for class. Presented. It was a crappy presentation, but still managed to get a 'very good' by the professor. After that, I went to my apartment, went to bed, woke up, and back at work again. I'm exhausted! I'm sleepy! I'm HUNGRY!

Once again, I managed to not fully decay. . . just partially decayed. . . Let's see how this day goes. I will hopefully be able to get a good full sleep tonight. *Crossing Fingers*. I haven't eaten anything, I'm broke (literally), and feel like I could eat a large baby with extra seasoned fries on the side and a super sized Arizona Green tea to wash it down with.



Song of the week: Shake it out by Florence and the Machine
*the SMASH cover of this song is fantastic as well :)